It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. Something Was Wrong - Audiojunkie.co Its very real.). Podcast Discovery . And what is it really like to be doxxed and harassed online to the point the FBI has to get involved? But they do have a son with name Barry. I had been duped and thereis something better. He said, to be honest Im strongly considering heading back home. (It had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get to my house.) Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Abuse Recovery, christianity, Uncategorized. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. Its not that religion is bad but when she was primed to believe men knew best and were in charge. While I see major positioning and personal growth happening, and how God rescued me from an incredibly dangerous situation, Ive felt forced to wait, having lost a life I loved through no fault of my own. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). Its easy! I was struck by the simplicity of that simple thought and how profoundly it changed my perspective. When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. It was take me back to the beginning. I wasnt sure why. 37.2k Followers, 1,197 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) In past blog sites I wrote about random f A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. Some of my darkest days have been marked by a unique sense of His presence I dont feel other times. Narcissism 101, my friends. Air is huge. If you are a man & want to discuss anything like mental health, suicide, therapy, or addiction, my email is always open. I guess chicks that write have blogs now, so thats me. Women were not created to be helpmeets, as many in the homeschool community taught us to look so forward to being. Broken Cycle Media is the company behind the well-known podcast. I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. For some reason this of all things pierced my heart. And having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God -Rom 6:22. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! 10 no. Love is what rescued me. Its close. Something Was Wrong Podcast - Facebook Play. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? Welcome to a spiritual war. I could hold conversations, but knew something was broken and my mind was doing its survival thing by blocking out and shelving trauma. Charts. I believed that charming, selfless man would come back he was just under some stress today. You in the beginning.. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. Nothing to fear, because fear cant coexist with perfect Love. He very frequently mentioned his brothers position of church eldership. Holding on to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids, many stay. He actually laughed, shaking his head! (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Agreed, it frustrated me that they werent touching on how religious communities can create environments ripe for abusive relationships. I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. Your email address will not be published. In fact, hope wasrestored because confirmation poured in that I was not crazy! Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. THE ROBE LIVES - Robes for a Cause, from African Print Textiles Ramonas left eye. We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we do the things we were put here to do. Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. Our hearts. Its insidious and the cost is incredibly high. (I remember a breakup years ago where I showed up to his house ready to set us both free, and when he immediately called it, I threw him off by breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying oh thank God through happy tears. There have been significant failures along the way and some incredible successes because of the collective creative force. Especially after marriage. I went about my bachelorette party the next day ready to have fun, with no idea that Sunday held the exposure of massive lies. Nothing to make an escape outwardly justifiable to the public. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. I was simply drawn to it. It is that simple. Jake Gravbrot Bio, Wikipedia, Age, Wife, And What Was Wrong In Season Beautiful day. Podcast: something was wrong Minor fundie drama + a little dear john creepiness in this podcast. Jake Gravbot, raised in a religious home, struggled due to his disagreements with his stepfather. With a list of reasons why he shouldnt pick them up, or boldly jumping into his arms with excitement? Time together was marked by trying to keep things positive and having some damn fun for once.. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Sign up free 0:00 0:00 Company About Jobs For the Record Communities For Artists Developers Advertising Investors Vendors Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. I absolutely do not understand if this guy is so horrible and this woman is so Christianwhy wouldnt they disclose who Dick was at some point? Internet armchair experts can put their thumbs to work all day long declaring the red flags I should have seen right away. Learn more about your ad choices. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. It is out of those days that our roots are deepened in their search for water. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). I've honestly had a fantastic career so far, working alongside brilliant people for the best brands in the world. I'm pretty damn passionate about the enneagram. I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Something Was Wrong: A Podcast About A Woman Who Called Off - Medium Add a hefty sprinkle of guilt for feeling that way, since Im fully aware of my safety and blessings in the moment, and you have the tension of right now. I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. Despite being encouraged in music my entire life and told I was a natural, I believed internal lies that said I was faking it. I had zero idea how Id measure up in any way to the groups of strangers my age who didnt talk like they spent summers reading books or watching black and white movies. My sin was very subtly (but constantly) pointed out as time went on not to keep me at the feet of Jesus, but to keep me confused and feeling small compared to the kind person calling it out. (What would I have ever done without their helpful insight into my weaknesses?) Neither can you. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. I've honestly had a fantastic career so far, working alongside brilliant people for the best brands in the world. Please read ALL the rules before posting! Something Was Wrong Podcast - Instagram Itll never fit. Theyre doing the heavy lifting when it comes to compiling my story for the public, not just for its sheer shock-factor, but because Im far from the only victim of psychopathic abuse. Hed give me a hug or kiss, then playfully push me away like he was discarding me and look back like he expected me to come back for more. Without it, as Scripture says, we die out. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. @Ramonaslefteye. Still in the first season of it, and was instantly hooked after the first episode. Like marriage is a ticking time bomb that must be diffused. Hed lied to his family about my job, inflating my position and giving me a title Ive never had. On a small scale, Ill do a mental scan of my upcoming week. something was wrong podcast sara picture New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Something was Wrong - S1 EP1 There were No Red Flags I listened to season one with Sara and Dick and thought of this sub. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably wrong, confusing, and overwhelming? When I tried to explain that I tempered my excitement after noticing he seemed down and I didnt want to be insensitive, he shook his head like I was being silly and trying to cover something he could see right through. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w Listen Later. Sara Lewis on making your personal story public I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. If its His word, He will back it and ensure it doesnt return empty. We were something to behold. Choosing peace that blatantly opposes the storm around them. Broken Cycle Medias owner and founder, Tiffany Reese (lookieboo), has more than 51.5k Instagram followers. I believe it wakes us up to ourselves and gives us a path towards radical change. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. There were certain daily routines he started from the beginning that he never wavered on, even near the end. Just when I thought Id pulled everything I could from a single passage, shed tell me I was cutting a note short and to let it breathe. I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. Everything looked guaranteed until they went a different direction. . Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. It was the most confusing night of my life, but I felt a strange peace and clearly heard in my heart Sunday will be pivotal. I was so emotionally invested in moving forward that I assumed that meant everyone would understand and all would be well. It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 175 posts 20.5K followers 206 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, relationships, funny things OUT NOW: The S&P Podcast! We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. It started with the role I play in His heart. If all of its true then he cant sue anyone so I dont understand it. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. In Season 14 of the show, an accurate account of Seattle-based hairstylist Jake Gravbrot is presented. Read reviews and listen to Something Was Wrong on Chartable. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. Once we were alone in my room I asked what was going on. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! something was wrong podcast sara picture I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. Something Was Wrong | Podcast on Spotify Home Search Your Library Create Playlist Privacy Center Cookies English Preview of Spotify Sign up to get unlimited songs and podcasts with occasional ads. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. Welcome to a spiritual war. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w . If we see what He does: Him in us? This scenario doubles as an example of gaslighting: He was folding clothes by my bed one evening and said, Well Id never share a secret with you. I paused what I was doing and looked up, surprised, wondering where he was going with this. I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! The verses right before the ones I shared: v.10: For as the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.. Something Was Wrong Podcast: A Deep Dive Into Mysterious And Unsolved Cases I stopped listening after they had broken up and she kept like, contacting his family and basically acting like it was her responsibility to rehab him or make him understand why what he did was wrong. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. As an ex-Evangelical, there are a lot of dog whistles that indicate the young woman being steeped in evangelical purity culture. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. Please take a moment to review the rules listed in our sidebar. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. Or we feel we need someone. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. Our creative and faceted personalities. Me a little smaller than before. The idea of him turning right back around seemed ludicrous. Social Media Pages Share This Show Latest Episodes [Diana] The Devil in Disguise. Seems like probably Season 5 - "Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches". Why did Mimi And Jake Gravbrot get divorced? I dont want to get in the way of anything. I begged him to stay. One of many is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I dont fight it. It was very beautiful, covered in blossoming vines and beautiful flowers, but it was a wall. Not a fan. I said when can we start?! Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched what felt like a movie scene. Make it sing! Carry that note with finger 2, not 3! Humans are hardwired to need a vision, a hope of something more, something bigger than ourselves to invest in and be part of. Coming to a podcast near you that will knock your winter socks off. It doesnt have to impress anyone elsewhich I wrestle with. (Opus. Id seen the cover many times, writing it off as a fluffy Christian Girls are Ladies in Waiting lecture. Only when that phrase appears on page 3. 64.7k Followers, 178 Following, 57 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) Or experiencing fulfillment. You didnt show nearly the same excitement once you saw me. In a recent interview with Trae Holiday, Omari Salisbury, a co-founder of Converge media, discussed Jake and his interactions with the press. Take me back to the beginning every single day. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast I have plenty of work I can get done. I was devastated and scrambling to recover whatever Id done wrong. A month or so before the wedding, he started this game around withholding affection. If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. A subreddit for snarking on fundamentalist Christianity and extreme Christian views. He finally has our full attention. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. I just listened to season one because Amazon podcasts referred it to me :) I had similar thoughts. Not just for us, but for those that hear our testimonies, I think it looks like freedom. Anyone who knows me well knows that I play devils advocate for just about anyone. It was a scary piece for me. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. However, this is my playground and Im honored to have your eyes as guests for a few moments.) Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. Scripture says we were crucified with Christ and are new creations. So.What Else? Its very real. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. I had the wherewithal at that moment to hold my ground. He was so soft. But Jake and Mimi got divorced in 2021. Better to go unnoticed than not measure up. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. I was straightforward and told him exactly what I wrote at the beginning of this paragraph so that he could understand why his words hurt me so badly. But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. December 27, 2022. Real-Time. But Jake and Mimi got divorced in 2021. When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. To let Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and, surprise: learn about His anger on my behalf. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. What an injustice. I think the podcast has inconsistent storytelling, but overall I think it's a good podcast. If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! Season 9 of Something Was Wrong features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery - who the f*ck is Ardie? As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. More and more of us are waking up at our own pace, shaking off the itll go back to normal soon complacency that gives us permission to coast through times of unrest and wait it out.. You [everyone] in the beginning.. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. A woman was praying for me shortly after I called off my wedding and she kept repeating, Hope is NOT deferred., Never. I got that vibe too absolutely. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. Something Was Wrong - Google Podcasts Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. Shows > Something Was Wrong > Season 14 Exhibit C 13 Episodes Season 14 Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show All Episodes Season 14 His Moods Really Swing E S14 E1 Oct 20, 2022 43 min *Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape, disordered eating, emotional, sexual and physical violence,. linktr.ee/spaceandpurpose Posts Reels It breaks my heart. 0. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not. The answer is absolutely yes. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Need I share more lies, though? The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. Until youve been gaslit, its extremely hard to understand. Like she belongs to US and then YOU after marriage. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Think more Brittany Dawn than Rodrigues. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. (Many of which Im still figuring out a year later.) 2. Now I have on record that as he calmly gazed into my eyes and held my hand across the candlelit table, resolving to love me well while navigating these learning opportunities for me, my churning stomach and racing heart were right. Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. . I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. Jakes mother, a single parent, used to live with her parents. Its the only explanation, and the overarching joy in my freedom is a testimony to what He wants for all of us in a world full of stories like mine. His Instagram account, Instagravbrot, has 89 followers, 19 posts, and eight followings. For some reason, he threw on a fake New Jersey accent and waved his hand flippantly as he said, Yeah! The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. https://somethingwaswrong.com/episodes/ This thread is archived Not trying to shame Sarah at all, what she went through was horrible and no one deserves abuse. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. Please God, if you have any mercy dont let her catch the pianissimo she overlooked.